God so loved the world...

Some time ago I tried writing a poem. I actually wanted to write something positive, but my pen seemed to only find dark words. Words that described my feelings of sadness and darkness and battle. The ink was deep black and my mood went darker and darker. Then the tide changed. Something happened inside me. Like a light that goes on. My cold heart started to catch the rays of the Gospel once again. "God so loved the world..."  Those words sang through my head. God loved the WORLD. When the authors of the Bible use the word 'world' it's usually in a negative way. It means the world of the devil. The world of the heathens. The world without God. The world within our own minds and souls. Now, I repeat: "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life". How could that be, I thought. Can God love me? All I ever did wrong danced before my eyes. It was like satan was playing the movie of my sin, showing me all I have done. The verse kept repeating itself in my head. Satan lost. God won. No longer I need to be a slave of Satan. No longer I need to be helpless. Still, I am not without sin, but now I battle against it. Not futile, but with the help of God I will win.

Barely awake, in this field I lay.
The darkness is leaving, the night's gone away.
Birds in the sky are talking of dawn
To the rising sun my eyes are drawn.

This coldness I felt, is slipping away,

The sun gives me hope for this new day.
Maybe today, I will finally find.
Some rest for my soul, some joy for my mind.

last night it seemed, i really had lost.
Hell'd let me pay, the full price it cost.

My soul was dark, my mind was stained
I gambled it all, no freedom was gained.

It felt so free, not living by rules.
That old book I thought, was written for fools.
Freedom prooved empty, It seemed i'd died.
Gullible me, the devil had lied.

I laid down my head, no future in sight.
Now knowing if I would survive tonight.
Freezing inside, all hope had gone
Nothing left, I'm all alone.

A voice from afar, is calling on me.
That vulture's cry, is letting me see.
The old book was right, and I was wrong.
I should have known, for so long.

My life is dead, my sin inside
killing me fast, and I am tied.
Can't I break free, leave these chains?
Or will they feast, on my remains.

An old verse, remembered in wonder
The devil parried, no time to ponder.
He screams inside, "it's too late.
You had your chance, now this is your fate."

White and blinding, a light in the dark.
My soul set on fire, ignited spark.
A battle within, the truth and the lies,
Bitter and sweet, devil's disguise.

Again that verse, stronger than before
The devil cries, but I want more.
God so loved the world, it says,
now joy within me's clearing my mess.

I open my eyes, the new day has come
no longer a dream, no longer i'm numb.
My heart soaring, searching for more.
Fly with the birds, to Whom I adore.

He set me free, He gave His all,
Without a right, I'm saved from the fall.
Praising forever, He is my King.
His blood a fountain, my song to sing.

This is one of my first serious attempts at writing a poem. Feel free to give advice for future writing or any other comment. God bless you!

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